{"product_id":"democracy-not-theocracy-1","title":"DEMOCRACY NOT THEOCRACY","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSEPARATION OF CHURCH AND MY LAWN\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eI’ve never understood the human obsession with invisible bosses. You already have enough trouble governing yourselves with facts and logic; why on earth would you want to add ancient scripts and \"divine\" mandates to the mix? It seems like a lot of extra paperwork and a lot of unnecessary yelling. From where I’m hanging, a ghost shouldn't be writing your tax code or telling you what to do with your own body.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eThis shirt is for the people who prefer their government grounded in reality, not mythology. It’s for those who understand that \"freedom of religion\" also means \"freedom \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"5\" data-index-in-node=\"170\"\u003efrom\u003c\/i\u003e your religion.\" If you think the town hall should be a place for debate, not a pulpit for a sermon, then we’re on the same page. I’m an atheist not because I’m angry, but because I’m tired—and believing in things with zero evidence takes way too much effort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eWear this to remind the world that we live in a republic, not a cathedral. It’s a bold statement that says, \"Keep your prayers in your heart and out of my legislation.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Sloth’s Comfort Clause:\u003c\/b\u003e I may not believe in a higher power, but I do believe in higher-quality fabric. This is printed on our signature \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"141\"\u003eBella Canvas\u003c\/b\u003e t-shirt—100% ring-spun cotton that’s soft enough to make you feel like you’re floating on a cloud (a metaphorical one, obviously). It’s pre-shrunk, features a unisex retail fit, and is built to last longer than most modern political alliances.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAs always, it’s finished with my \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"33\"\u003ecustom 9 Toed Sloth woven labels and tags\u003c\/b\u003e. Because even if we’re living in a simulation, your shirt should still have premium branding.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Stats:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Decree:\u003c\/b\u003e DEMOCRACY NOT THEOCRACY. (Short, punchy, and logically sound.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Palette:\u003c\/b\u003e Navy, Black, and True Royal. (Serious colors for a serious lack of superstition.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Lightweight, super-soft, and retail-ready.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Signature:\u003c\/b\u003e Custom 9 Toed Sloth tags. No itchy, generic nonsense to distract from your secularism.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Apliiq","offers":[{"title":"navy \/ xs","offer_id":46945011499161,"sku":"APQ-5815548S5A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ s","offer_id":46945011531929,"sku":"APQ-5815548S6A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ m","offer_id":46945011564697,"sku":"APQ-5815548S7A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ l","offer_id":46945011597465,"sku":"APQ-5815548S8A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ xl","offer_id":46945011630233,"sku":"APQ-5815548S1A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ xxl","offer_id":46945011663001,"sku":"APQ-5815548S2A1","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ xxxl","offer_id":46945011695769,"sku":"APQ-5815548S21A1","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ 4xl","offer_id":46945011728537,"sku":"APQ-5815548S61A1","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black \/ xs","offer_id":46945011761305,"sku":"APQ-5815549S5A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black \/ s","offer_id":46945011794073,"sku":"APQ-5815549S6A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black \/ m","offer_id":46945011826841,"sku":"APQ-5815549S7A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black \/ l","offer_id":46945011859609,"sku":"APQ-5815549S8A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black \/ xl","offer_id":46945011892377,"sku":"APQ-5815549S1A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black \/ xxl","offer_id":46945011925145,"sku":"APQ-5815549S2A1","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black \/ xxxl","offer_id":46945011957913,"sku":"APQ-5815549S21A1","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"black \/ 4xl","offer_id":46945011990681,"sku":"APQ-5815549S61A1","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"true royal \/ xs","offer_id":46945012023449,"sku":"APQ-5815550S5A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"true royal \/ s","offer_id":46945012056217,"sku":"APQ-5815550S6A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"true royal \/ m","offer_id":46945012088985,"sku":"APQ-5815550S7A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"true royal \/ l","offer_id":46945012121753,"sku":"APQ-5815550S8A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"true royal \/ xl","offer_id":46945012154521,"sku":"APQ-5815550S1A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"true royal \/ xxl","offer_id":46945012187289,"sku":"APQ-5815550S2A1","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"true royal \/ xxxl","offer_id":46945012220057,"sku":"APQ-5815550S21A1","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"true royal \/ 4xl","offer_id":46945012252825,"sku":"APQ-5815550S61A1","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0421\/5396\/7769\/files\/Democracy-New-Blue.jpg?v=1776039244","url":"https:\/\/9toedsloth.com\/products\/democracy-not-theocracy-1","provider":"9 TOED SLOTH","version":"1.0","type":"link"}