{"product_id":"history","title":"HISTORY REPEATS - T-SHIRT","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eHISTORY REPEATS (I DON’T)\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eHumans are fascinating. You have these massive brains, yet you keep using them to repeat the same catastrophic mistakes like you’re reading from a script. I’ve been hanging from this branch for a long time, and frankly, watching you guys flirt with the same old authoritarian nonsense is exhausting. It’s unoriginal. It’s a waste of energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eHistory is tired of being the only adult in the room. This shirt is for the people who actually paid attention in class while everyone else was busy following a shiny object off a cliff. If you’re tired of the \"new\" government ideas that look suspiciously like the 1930s, wear this. It saves you the breath of having to explain the obvious to people who don't want to hear it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Sloth’s Comfort Clause:\u003c\/b\u003e Look, if the world is going to insist on a remake of its worst chapters, you should at least be comfortable while you watch the premiere. This isn’t a stiff, cardboard-feeling tee. It’s a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"216\"\u003eBella Canvas\u003c\/b\u003e—super soft, light ring-spun cotton that feels like a breeze. It’s pre-shrunk (unlike the government’s ego) and features a unisex retail fit that actually looks good on humans.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eFinished with my \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"17\"\u003ecustom 9 Toed Sloth woven labels and tags\u003c\/b\u003e, because quality matters even when the status quo doesn't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Stats:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Message:\u003c\/b\u003e “Don't make me repeat myself” — History.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Colors:\u003c\/b\u003e Ash, Light Blue, and Navy (to match your mood or the news cycle).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Feel:\u003c\/b\u003e Light, airy, and soft enough to sleep in when you’re done fighting the power.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Details:\u003c\/b\u003e Custom branded tags. No generic itchy nonsense here.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Apliiq","offers":[{"title":"Ash \/ xs","offer_id":46944973815961,"sku":"APQ-5815412S5A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ash \/ s","offer_id":46944973848729,"sku":"APQ-5815412S6A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ash \/ m","offer_id":46944973881497,"sku":"APQ-5815412S7A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ash \/ l","offer_id":46944973914265,"sku":"APQ-5815412S8A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ash \/ xl","offer_id":46944973947033,"sku":"APQ-5815412S1A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ash \/ xxl","offer_id":46944973979801,"sku":"APQ-5815412S2A1","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ash \/ xxxl","offer_id":46944974012569,"sku":"APQ-5815412S21A1","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ash \/ 4xl","offer_id":46944974045337,"sku":"APQ-5815412S61A1","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"light blue \/ xs","offer_id":46944974078105,"sku":"APQ-5815414S5A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"light blue \/ s","offer_id":46944974110873,"sku":"APQ-5815414S6A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"light blue \/ m","offer_id":46944974143641,"sku":"APQ-5815414S7A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"light blue \/ l","offer_id":46944974176409,"sku":"APQ-5815414S8A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"light blue \/ xl","offer_id":46944974209177,"sku":"APQ-5815414S1A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"light blue \/ xxl","offer_id":46944974241945,"sku":"APQ-5815414S2A1","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"light blue \/ xxxl","offer_id":46944974274713,"sku":"APQ-5815414S21A1","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"light blue \/ 4xl","offer_id":46944974307481,"sku":"APQ-5815414S61A1","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ xs","offer_id":46944974340249,"sku":"APQ-5815413S5A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ s","offer_id":46944974373017,"sku":"APQ-5815413S6A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ m","offer_id":46944974405785,"sku":"APQ-5815413S7A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ l","offer_id":46944974438553,"sku":"APQ-5815413S8A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ xl","offer_id":46944974471321,"sku":"APQ-5815413S1A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ xxl","offer_id":46944974504089,"sku":"APQ-5815413S2A1","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ xxxl","offer_id":46944974536857,"sku":"APQ-5815413S21A1","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ 4xl","offer_id":46944974569625,"sku":"APQ-5815413S61A1","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0421\/5396\/7769\/files\/History-New-Grey.jpg?v=1776013373","url":"https:\/\/9toedsloth.com\/products\/history","provider":"9 TOED SLOTH","version":"1.0","type":"link"}