{"product_id":"super-bad","title":"SUPER CALLOUS - SHIRT","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eA SPOONFUL OF REALITY\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eI usually find songs annoying. Too much melody, too much effort. But sometimes a tune gets stuck in your head—specifically one about a magical nanny—and you start realizing the lyrics don't quite fit the current reality. So, I did a little editing. I don’t like to work hard, but someone had to fix the vocabulary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eThis isn't just a play on words; it’s a checklist. If you’ve been watching the news and feeling like you’re living in a poorly scripted musical where the lead actor is... well, let's just say \"less than ideal,\" then this is your anthem. It covers the hits: the ego, the thin skin, the bigotry, and the creative relationship with the truth. It’s a lot to fit on one shirt, but the administration provided plenty of material to work with.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eWear it to the family dinner you don't want to be at, or to the protest where you do. It says everything so you can keep your mouth shut and conserve your energy. Which is what I’ll be doing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Sloth’s Comfort Clause:\u003c\/b\u003e If the political climate is giving you a rash, your clothing shouldn't. I’ve put this on a premium \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"127\"\u003eBella Canvas\u003c\/b\u003e tee. We’re talking 100% light, ring-spun cotton that’s softer than a politician’s promise. It’s pre-shrunk, has a unisex fit that actually respects the human form, and comes in White, Navy, and a Berry that’s just loud enough to be heard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eNaturally, it’s finished with my \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"8\" data-index-in-node=\"33\"\u003ecustom 9 Toed Sloth woven labels and tags\u003c\/b\u003e. Because even if the country is falling apart, your hemline shouldn't be.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Stats:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Breakdown:\u003c\/b\u003e Super, Callous, Fragile, Racist, Sexist, Lying, POTUS. (Try saying it three times fast. Or don't. It’s exhausting.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Palette:\u003c\/b\u003e White, Navy, and Berry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Build:\u003c\/b\u003e Lightweight, breathable, and retail-fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Signature:\u003c\/b\u003e Custom branded tags. No generic shortcuts allowed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Apliiq","offers":[{"title":"navy \/ xs","offer_id":46944998195353,"sku":"APQ-5815453S5A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ s","offer_id":46944998228121,"sku":"APQ-5815453S6A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ m","offer_id":46944998260889,"sku":"APQ-5815453S7A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ l","offer_id":46944998293657,"sku":"APQ-5815453S8A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ xl","offer_id":46944998326425,"sku":"APQ-5815453S1A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ xxl","offer_id":46944998359193,"sku":"APQ-5815453S2A1","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ xxxl","offer_id":46944998391961,"sku":"APQ-5815453S21A1","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"navy \/ 4xl","offer_id":46944998424729,"sku":"APQ-5815453S61A1","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"white \/ xs","offer_id":46944998457497,"sku":"APQ-5815454S5A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"white \/ s","offer_id":46944998490265,"sku":"APQ-5815454S6A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"white \/ m","offer_id":46944998523033,"sku":"APQ-5815454S7A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"white \/ l","offer_id":46944998555801,"sku":"APQ-5815454S8A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"white \/ xl","offer_id":46944998588569,"sku":"APQ-5815454S1A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"white \/ xxl","offer_id":46944998621337,"sku":"APQ-5815454S2A1","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"white \/ xxxl","offer_id":46944998654105,"sku":"APQ-5815454S21A1","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"white \/ 4xl","offer_id":46944998686873,"sku":"APQ-5815454S61A1","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"berry \/ xs","offer_id":46944998719641,"sku":"APQ-5815455S5A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"berry \/ s","offer_id":46944998752409,"sku":"APQ-5815455S6A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"berry \/ m","offer_id":46944998785177,"sku":"APQ-5815455S7A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"berry \/ l","offer_id":46944998817945,"sku":"APQ-5815455S8A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"berry \/ xl","offer_id":46944998850713,"sku":"APQ-5815455S1A1","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"berry \/ xxl","offer_id":46944998883481,"sku":"APQ-5815455S2A1","price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"berry \/ xxxl","offer_id":46944998916249,"sku":"APQ-5815455S21A1","price":34.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"berry \/ 4xl","offer_id":46944998949017,"sku":"APQ-5815455S61A1","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0421\/5396\/7769\/files\/Super-Berry.jpg?v=1776015762","url":"https:\/\/9toedsloth.com\/products\/super-bad","provider":"9 TOED SLOTH","version":"1.0","type":"link"}